Are you familiar with the following phrases? ‘You must be going crazy, That’s not what happened’, ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about’, or ‘You are just imagining things’. If someone in your life often uses these phrases while interacting with you, then there is a solid chance that you are experiencing gaslighting.
Gaslighting refers to a manipulative technique where one partner tries to manipulate the other person into doubting their emotions, feelings, or even their reality. This can turn out to be extremely toxic for the person who is on the receiving end. It can also confuse people and even make them doubt their intentions. As a result, it becomes important to identify these toxic patterns. Here are five ways in which gaslighting usually happens:
Forgetting or denying
This is a type of manipulation tactic where a person completely refuses to take responsibility for their actions. A toxic person tends to pretend to forget what has happened and often responds by saying, ‘They did not do it.’ Someone who often indulges in gaslighting blames their behaviour on someone else.
Diversion
With their behaviour, a gaslighter often diverts the attention of another person from a topic by questioning their credibility. They may often respond by saying, ‘That’s just some nonsense you read on the internet’ or ‘This is just in your head’ to other people’s arguments.
Withholding
Withholding is the process of holding information rather than clarifying it with the other person. Someone who often gaslights others during arguments, pretends to not understand the situation or refuses to listen, which can make the other person doubt themselves.
Trivialising
A person who often gaslights others belittles or disregards other people’s feelings. They may often call the other person ‘too sensitive’ or ‘overreacting’ even to their valid concern.
Stereotyping
Another common pattern shown by someone who gaslights is that they intentionally try to stereotype someone on the basis of their gender, caste, race, sexuality, nationality, etc.
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